Pranking Rank

Posted on Mon Jul 24, 2017 @ 4:14pm by Captain Madelina Weisz & Master Chief Petty Officer Thomas Barnes

Mission: Strange Matter
Location: Various
Timeline: MD 24 || 1300 Hours

Maddy made her way down the corridor toward Operations with a crate in her hands and a huge smile on her face. The Captain wasn't due back until the next day, which meant things should go off without a hitch. In fact, the only reason she was on the ship so early was to check out the repairs and sign off on them. Everything was as it was before the death and destruction... better, in fact. But now, she had something up her sleeve, but required help.

The very help she was looking for had returned to the ship with her, and would hopefully be inside his office checking out the repairs. Aside from the two of them, there were still quite a few people on board putting the finishing touches in place, but the ship was once again habitable. As she neared the office, she smiled, "Tom... are you in here?"

"Back here!" Tom called out. Since his return to the ship, he'd been buried in paperwork left behind by the yard engineers. Evidently, a computer wipe and restore wasn't enough. They'd replaced countless sectors of the computer core, scores of isolinear chips and bioneural packs. Tom supposed if they could have opened Triumphant's hull, they would have just installed entirely new computer cores.

Maddy made her way back to where the voice called from and smiled when she saw him. "Are you incredibly busy at the moment, because I have a favor to ask. It's a rather large one, too," she said, settling the crate she'd been carrying that housed the bonsai trees inside.

Tom had looked up at Maddy as she walked into his office and was amazed to see that she found the only clear spot on his desk. Well, he figured he couldn't be that surprised seeing how there was only one clear spot on the desk. "Doesn't look that large," he remarked, rising to his feet and walking around the desk.

"You'll think otherwise once I tell you what it is," the redhead woman said with a grin. "Michael isn't due to get back until tomorrow, so..." she paused, pulling the lid off of the crate to reveal the Captain's bonsai trees inside of it. "I want to figure out a way to have these revert to their original state whenever he prunes them. Is there a way to make that happen?"

"You are devious," Tom remarked, taking a look at the bonsai trees. "Should be simple enough," he said, studying the trees closely. "All it'll take is saving the pattern in the transporter. Whenever they're trimmed, we can just beam to a reset point. We'll have to be careful though."

"Before we do this, is there anything that can happen to them?" Maddy asked. While she wanted to prank Michael, she didn't want to destroy one of the few things that gave him sanity. "I don't want to damage them."

"Not unless this process goes beyond a hundred days," Tom replied. "Copies eventually degrade. I certainly wouldn't recommend doing this to a humanoid, but a tree of this size should be fine. Besides, I can grab an additional bonsai or two from Earth before we leave just for when the prank is done so that we can make sure the Captain's trees won't suffer from any degradation."

"Maybe... we can prune back the new ones to look like the originals. I knew these," she said, gesturing to the ones in the crate. "Have a lot of sentimental value to him. He's had them for a long time. I know I'm evil, but I wouldn't be able to live with myself if the originals suffered from degradation. Would it still be possible?"

Tom gave the matter a bit of thought. "I mean, it's a tree. Basic biological structure. As far as pruning new ones to match the old... if the Captain has had his trees for as long as you suggest, he'll notice. But... we could generate a signature for his trees, clone a new set using the transporter, and use those to wreck havoc."

"Perfect. Let's go that route, then I can keep the originals safe in my quarters until he makes the discovery," the redhead said with a grin. "I think it will take time before he does, though. This should be good. No one has successfully gotten him in a while."

"That so?" he said, coming around the desk to pick up the box. He was going to have to sequence the trees before they could find a double. "I can assume you had something to do with that."

"It's been a while since I've had the chance to get him. He got me last, so I owe him," she explained. "Michael decided to free some of the critters from the science labs and grant them permission to spend the night with me. In my bed. I think the entire ship heard me scream that night."

"You?" Tom asked, leading them out of Operations. "I thought you had a spine of steel," he joked, hoping it wouldn't offend. She'd been pretty bold since they first met, and he found it hard to believe that she was scared of some simple critters.

Maddy laughed as she followed behind him. "I'd like to think that I do, but I turn into another person entirely when creepy crawlies are involved," she said, trying not to shudder as the memory was brought back to the front of her mind. "They have their place in the labs, and that's where they should stay. I had a dozen Science personnel in my quarters that night collecting them all. Took four hours only because I didn't let them leave until I was satisfied they were all gone. I ended up sleeping in enlisted quarters for a week afterward. Oh, but Michael... he was just so pleased with himself."

"I can imagine." Tom shook his head. "I guess that makes a little more sense with the Captain asking me about practical jokes. Or was that you? I forget."

"I did, but he likely did, too. You are the Operations Chief, after all," she answered. "Just know... that if he does come to you to get me, I won't hold it against you. Revenge will be against him alone. Of course, you can decide whether you want to or not."

Tom chuckled. "Let him try. Might give something for the hundreds of non-comms on this ship to enjoy when good ole Master Chief Barnes pranks the Captain."

Maddy grinned. "That's the spirit! The Captain loves a good prank."

They arrived at the transporter room, which was unmanned considering most of the crew was still on shore leave. Tom set the container on the floor and picked up the tree and moved to set it on the middle of the pad. "This part won't take long," he remarked to Maddy.

"He has quite a few trees, but I picked one that wasn't a favorite that way he doesn't figure things out right away. Don't get me wrong, he'll notice, but we'll get to mess with him a bit longer," she said, stepping back so he could do his thing.

Tom stepped behind the controls and began to change the settings. After a few moments, he placed his index finger on one of the holographic sliders and pushed it upwards. The tree disappeared, disassembled molecule by molecule and converted into energy. As soon as it was gone, Tom saved a copy of the pattern into the Operations computer core. Satisfied, Tom rematerialized the tree. "Now all we need is a tree to resequence."

Maddy reached into the crate and produced a second tree she'd replicated. "Will this work?"

Tom inspected the tree for a few moments. "Yeah, that looks perfect. Go ahead and set it on the pad."

She did as she was instructed, placing the tree on the pad before moving out of the way. This was going to be quite interesting to watch unfold. "Okay, Tom... let's see what you've got."

He was silent for a few moments. Normally, he didn't mind talking while at the controls, but this procedure was a bit more complex. It took him about a minute to set the proper calculations, and finally he moved the sliders. The tree was bathed in brilliant blue light as it was dissected and absorbed into the pattern buffer.

As soon as it disappeared, Tom took the pattern and broke it down into the basic matter components. From there, he was able to bring those components into the saved pattern. He manipulated the controls and the pattern for a bit longer until he could again engage the sliders. A column of light shimmered into existence on the pad. When it disappeared, a copy of the Captain's tree was left behind.

Maddy was impressed. She knew she went to the right person to help her out. "Are you sure this isn't the original?" the redhead woman asked. "It looks exactly the same. You definitely know the ins and outs of your department."

"Thanks," Tom said, moving to join her at the platform. "Transporters and I have been working together for the last twenty years. In my spare time, I still toy with Captain Scott's transwarp beaming equation. I'm not sure I'll ever crack it, but it's a good mental exerciser."

"Being former Security didn't leave me a lot of time to get into Operations often, but now that I'm an XO, I get to spend a little more time there. However, I'm not expert. I know just enough to get myself through," she said, gesturing to the tree. "Is it safe to move?"

Tom answered by picking up the tree by the base and extended the tree to Maddy. "Yep. See for yourself. We might want to hand deliver it though. Transporter activity is tracked, and the less footprint the better."

She accepted the tree and looked it over. It really did look just like the original with nothing out of place. "Hand delivering it won't be an issue. He's not here to catch us," she stated with a grin. "I can't wait to see how long it takes for him to notice. This definitely beats bugs in his bed."

"I take it that's one of your former efforts?" Tom asked. He placed the original tree into the box and picked it up. "We should put this somewhere safe. My quarters, perhaps?"

"I think that would be the safest place," she nodded. "As for that being a former effort of mine, no. That'd mean I would have had to touch them, and that will never happen. Not in this life or any other."

"Probably just as well," Tom said, leading the way out of the transporter room. "The Captain has kids, and it's far from sporting to involve them in something like that. I'm sure Mrs. Commodore would kill anyone who harmed them, no matter how minor or well-intended."

"We'd be dealing with full on Mama Bear," Maddy confirmed as she followed behind him with the replicated tree in her arms. "I know if I had children, I'd go special level crazy on anyone who might do something to them. This is the very reason that I don't take my pranks anywhere near the Commodore's quarters. Spouses and children are not meant to be caught in the crossfire no matter how harmless the prank is. As it stands, I feel pretty horrible for bringing you into this, but I will see to it that you get none of the fallback."

"Don't be sorry," Tom said. "Besides, this is as harmless as anything can be. And the boss can keep the tree when this is all done."

Maddy smiled. His logic was flawless. "This is true, and the original will be safe until he finally realizes... if he realizes. You did such an amazing job with the replica that I can't tell them apart."

"Just don't ask me to try it on a sentient being." Tom entered the turbolift, shifting his grip on the box as he did so. "Essentially, all I did was harness the power of transporters and replicators. In essence, it's the same tree."

Entering the turbolift behind him, she came to stand just off to his left. "If you ever decide you do want to give it a try, I'll be your guinea pig. Then again... what would the ship do with two of me aside from self destruct?"

With a blank expression, he glanced over to her. "Two of you?" he asked, his delivery completely deadpan. "I can barely handle one Maddy. How the hell can I handle two?"

Maddy looked over at him, blinked, then started laughing as she shook her head. "There's a reason I wasn't born a twin. I couldn't handle another me, either," she said, shifting the Bonsai tree in her arms. If there were to ever be a second version of her, she didn't know what she would do. "One of me is more than enough."

"I completely, wholeheartedly agree," Tom said, waggling his eyebrows. "Senior Officer Quarters," he finally instructed the turbolift. They'd been sitting here long enough. "How are you doing settling back in, anyway?"

"I'm settling in rather well. It's like riding a bike," she replied with a smile. "I just hope whatever H.Q. has in store for us this go around doesn't result in my ending up in sickbay again. Not that they were responsible the last time, but you know what I mean." She looked over at him. "Move in with me?"

He was about to make a remark about HQ possibly yanking him off the Triumphant at their next opportunity, considering that was a very real possibility with his promotion. However, Tom found himself blinking twice in surprise. He supposed he should have expected that. He quickly tried to come up with something witty, like But where will the tree hide? or Can my leafy friend come too?

Evidently, there was another response in mind. As such, his lips found hers in an alarming rate of speed. It did, according to his heart, seem to be the most logical solution.

Maddy's eyes widened at how fast he moved, and it took her bracing her hand against the wall to keep from falling over. Still, she didn't drop the tree, nor did it stop her from returning the kiss. The redhead had been expecting a simple answer, but this one was quite better, and one she really hoped was an affirmative. Still, there was no rush on her part to pull back and find out.

It was awkward trying to kiss with two trees... well, one tree and one box in the way. The trees! thought Tom, forcing him to break the ever-so-passionate kiss. He couldn't risk them being damaged, not now. So, he reluctantly stopped his part of the kiss and pulled back, but not by much. "Before I say yes," he told her. "I'm rather... partial to my t-shirt collection. Do you think there's room?"

"I think so. I have an extra bedroom we can convert to a closet if we need to," she said, still a bit breathless from their kiss. Maddy was grateful for one last night of being alone with him before the rest of the crew returned. Even if it was spent aboard the ship, the sky was the limit for them. There was nothing they couldn't do thanks to the holodeck.

"Then it's settled," Tom said with a smile. "It won't take me long to move. I've always packed light."

Maddy leaned forward and kissed him again. Though it was a quick one, it still carried every bit of love she had for him. "I've got room for whatever you wish to bring with you. We can even redecorate if the beach theme isn't to your liking. The possibilities are pretty endless."

"What kind of boyfriend would I be if I made you redecorate?" Tom asked as the lift continued to move. "I think your quarters are as perfect as they can be."

"I'd say you'd still be a pretty amazing one," she stated. He could argue that, but nothing would change her mind.

Tom didn't argue that. "Well, if that's the case, then I already have our first housewarming gift." He raised the box an inch to remind them of the Captain's prized possession. "No matter how temporary it may be."

"I've studied up on how to care for them, so it will survive its time with us. I never know when something might happen to Michael, and I'll need to fill in for him. Trust me when I say I hope that will never come to pass, but it's always better to be safe than sorry, right?" Maddy asked as the turbolift came to a halt on the deck he'd requested. "After you, my love."

He recalled the path to her quarters well. After all he had been there often enough. Tom had a feeling they could both be carried away very quickly. And, it was still their duty shift. Well, it was at least his. Someone passing by both of them also helped snap him back to reality. "After we drop this off, that should get to where the Captain keeps it pretty quick. We can't be carrying trees around the ship all day."

"I can take the tree back to the ready room, then meet you back at our place of you want?" Maddy offered. It would make things easier and go a bit quicker. "Unless you need help. I don't want to leave you in a lurch."

Tom shook his head. "Nah, I've got this. I should probably head back to the office anyway. I don't want to tell the Captain that the reason I got behind in paperwork was because the XO and I were playing hooky in our new quarters."

The redhead grinned. "Is that what you think we'll be playing? Oh, living together is going to be so much fun." She leaned in and kissed him. "I'll see you in a few hours, then we can play... hooky."

"Deal," he said with a smile. He gave her a brief kiss before taking a turn down a junction that would lead them to their quarters. "See you tonight!" he called as he walked away.

Maddy smiled as she stepped back into the turbolift. Her life had just gotten a lot more interesting. "Bridge."