Obi Wan? Is that you?

Posted on Wed Sep 6, 2017 @ 9:03pm by Lieutenant JG Jacob Hartley

Mission: Strange Matter
Location: Holodeck 1
Timeline: MD 28 || 2130 Hours

It wasn't often that a picturesque scene would be seen in nature, but in the holodeck, anything was possible. Jacob had created the setting for what he needed, and right now all around him was a beautiful sunset, a sky full of orange, blue, red and yellow, all blended together. A gentle breeze flew through the sky, and below Jacob...was absolutely nothing but more sky. He was sitting cross legged atop a tall pillar, his eyes closed as he concentrated on his thoughts, and only his thoughts. Nothing else mattered. Yes, the scene was perfect, but it wasn't necessary for aesthetics.

The program had been created for him years ago by William, his former mentor. When Jacob had finished his first year, he had been beamed into the holodeck atop the pillar, and told to learn patience. Of course, Jacob hadn't known it had been a holodeck, and had been angry at first, but had complied. Now he used the program when he needed to focus his thoughts. So far, he had been alone for just over three hours, having needing time to get his mind right.

His mind went back to the away mission, and frankly, he wasn't pleased with having to revisit it. It seemed so simple being on the ship, having the chance to access the data of the Romulan ship. And instead of being a professional, he had acted like a child in a candy store, and had gone for the largest bar of chocolate, the entire database. He could have picked at the smaller, tastier sweets, but no, he went for the biggest score.

He had been trained better than that, and yet he had forgotten all of his training. On top of that, he was now having to deal with the issues of his meeting with Terry, and with learning more information of the shipping company his family owned. He hadn't ever felt so conflicted in his entire life.

As he opened his eyes, the second part of the program he had just added activated, and he saw the holographic version of William. It was a program William himself had created for some of his students, in case they needed advice but were alone. Jacob knew William had spent several years making the program and updating it. Jacob had used it sparingly, and only when he was feeling in need of wisdom. He appreciated the help Terry had given him, but there were some things that he couldn't speak about.

Jacob sighed and looked at his mentor. "I...I have failed, just as I did at the academy." Jacob said, before explaining the mission to the holo William. "I ignored your teachings, and was a child again."

"Jacob, you have always been so good at hiding your feelings, but the problem you have always faced is that you hide them from yourself. This was your first away mission, and you wanted to prove yourself." William said.

"No arguments here." Jacob agreed.

"Which is why you failed. Jacob, I taught you to forget your own feelings on a mission. Not all of them, but enough so you weren't thinking of personal glory." William said. He smiled. "I remember when I first met you. You were so brash, so eager to prove yourself. But you were also full of potential."

"I often wonder if I was." Jacob admitted, as he looked at his friend - at the hologram of his friend and mentor. "You told me that a good Intelligence Agent is able to compartmentalize his feelings, and put the mission first. I was able to do that before, so why couldn't I this time?"

"Oh, Jacob." William said, with a small chuckle. "You are a victim of your own success. You said it yourself, you were successful before. So you allowed yourself to get sloppy. I don't say that as an insult, but you have made the mistakes many have before. But for you, perfection is something you demand of yourself. But you do not trust others. After all, why not discuss this with a real person?"

"You're real to me." Jacob said. William smiled, and shook his head.

"No, Jacob, I'm a holographic representation of a man who died. Jacob, since coming aboard, how many times have you interacted with people outside of duty?" William asked. Seeing Jacob's face, he smiled. "You see? You don't trust your crew to be able to speak to, or even get to know them. You always preferred your own company, but how can they trust you if you don't trust them?"

"I do trust them." Jacob said.

"Do not lie to a hologram, Jacob, or to yourself." William said. "Jacob, tell me something; why do you close yourself off?"

"I've depended on people before, and it's never paid off. Why should now be any different?" Jacob asked, frowning.

"Why indeed? Jacob, a lot of what we do in life depends on our own points of view. You, who were abandoned by your real parents as a child, always wondered why you weren't wanted by your parents, because you felt they chose to leave you. They hadn't made the proper repairs, and so you felt they wanted to leave you. But that is just your point of view." William said.

"It's the truth, verified by the logs of the survivors." Jacob replied, standing up, as the holodeck scene changed to that of a green field.

"A lot of what we know as truth can be false. Oh, not deliberately, but it all depends of the points of view of others, and yourself. For all you know, the Chief Engineer might not have said anything to your parents, but only in his logs. Or your parents could have been waiting for the parts. You can't know for sure, but you've let that view cloud you." William said.

"So what do I do? I need your advice, old friend." Jacob said.

"I've taught you everything I can. I could only teach you about the book, about the structure and the theoretical styling of work. What you need is experience. No book, or holodeck, can give you that. Think of your Parkour. When did you first learn about it?" William asked.

"In a book." Jacob said. "But I had to practice through experience. I get what you mean."

"Do you? Once again, you jump ahead, trying to assume you have the answers. You need to listen more, Jacob. You need to focus and take in everything. I taught you how to play chess. You win by thinking ten moves ahead. You downloaded a database. How many moves ahead were you thinking?" William asked.

"One." Jacob admitted.

"And so we make progress. Speak to your counselor, speak to a friend. Hell, make a friend Jacob. Make a friend, and learn what it is to live, not to just exist. And please, stop showing off. You are good at what you do, but you do not need to show it off. Be calm, and remember, trust in others." William said. The holodeck changed and began to shut down, leaving just Jacob and William. As William began to fade, he smiled.

"I'll always be proud of you Jacob. Now go and win the chess game of life." He said, before disappearing. Jacob sighed, and left the holodeck, with one thing repeating in his mind.

"You win by thinking ten moves ahead. Now go and win."